It's such a beautiful morning. I woke up today and thanked the dear Lord for allowing me one more day with my family. I'm sitting here on a man made bench (from a tree trunk) over looking the water as it comes rustling down stream. The force - the quickness of it as it gently sings good morning - lovingly embracing mother earth.
Not one ripple is the same. They all difer in their own right. I sometimes feel like I've been here before, but yet, the memory doesn't seem to catch me. The air is fresh. The sun is attempting to break through the early morning fog. The different shades of green. The moss that forcefully hugs the fallen tree trunks.
It's so peaceful here. I can sit here all day just staring out between the the long branches that sprout before me. Some slanted to the left, some slanted to the right. Some just existing. Many years have they seen the rocks flowing astray; the leaves that fall from above then run down hill. Where they go is the unknown.
Not one ripple is the same. They all difer in their own right. I sometimes feel like I've been here before, but yet, the memory doesn't seem to catch me. The air is fresh. The sun is attempting to break through the early morning fog. The different shades of green. The moss that forcefully hugs the fallen tree trunks.
I wonder who stands behind me. I feel the presence of a soul. The chills run down my arms. The touch of presence is evident on the back of my neck. For I do know that it is not a soul I can see with the naked eye. But yet, I know you're here with me sitting beside me. I don't know who you are as you've yet to make yourself known to me. But that's ok. I know you're here in peace and tranquility. We share the beautiful music of Drew Trelick as he plays his violin.
Once again, my heart pangs softly. My eyes fill with morning dew. The sadness of it all is still quite dominant. I see this two feet wide board that stretches from one side of the stream to the other. Am I brave enough to cross it alone. There's no one here, I'm alone. Do I take the chance and tempt fate? I sit here and way my options. What's the worst that could happen? My body would fall into the water. The freezing morning water. But yet, I ask one's self - What's the best that could happen? I'd experience the thrill of the challenge ~ as I reach the end I can laugh and say it wasn't bad at all!
Will it be this way for me when I am called home again? Will I have the courage to let go and have the faith in myself to go forward? To leave behind what I love and cherish? It gets deep ~ deep inside my mind. I'm ready to go home when it's my time. I am looking forward to it. But yet, it saddens me at the same time. Confusion. I look back and see all the tall trees and the road back to the camp site. I know camp is just through those tall trees. I've been there. I've come from there. But yet, as I turn back and look over my shoulder, it's dark. I don't hesitate about going through there for it is familiar territory to me.
The morning scent of life. LIFE. Have I come here for a purpose? My life is short lived. I'm sent here to heal the one's hurting. To lend a hand to the fallen. To share a smile with the lonely. But yet, I still don't know why? Why? I need to find peace ~ inner peace with this challenge presented to me.
Lord ~ I shouldn't question you and why you have bestowed this great pain upon my heart. Once I make it through this life time, what will my next one be like? Will there be beautiful trees, the salty ocean, the quietness of a brisk water running down stream? Will there be the beautiful blue birds I saw yesterday on my walk? What will there be ~ we shall see.
In my days..... It's great to be alive!
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