Something about me

March 4, 2010. The day my life changed forever.  At least from my view, it was the worst day of my life.  It was  the day I was diagnosed with Nonalcoholic steato-hepatitis, aka NASH, stage III.  This is a common, but often “silent” liver disease.  One may never know they have it, until it's too late to change it.  I was devastated when I first learned of this.  I was told I had about 6-8 years left. - WTF!  I was, least to say, horrified.

Although I soon found myself on a suicidal path, I was confused, angry and on a road to self-destruction. I had no-one to turn to that I could talk to. Nobody to just hold me and tell me not to worry - it'll be OK. Nobody to help me through this as everyone else close to me was trying to deal with it themselves. How was I going to tell me children, let alone my grandchildren?  I couldn't bear the thought of telling them about this madness of a death sentence. 
Moving forward a few months, my faith in God began to strengthen and new people began crossing my life path. Some for only a short time, but still remain close to my heart and other's still are my dearest friends to this day. The light soon began to shine again for me.  I was on a positive life path.  Changed my life style.  Building strength by working out. Losing weight and trying to remain positive.  

By February 2011, it was time for me to have another liver biopsy.  I will need one every year for the rest of my life.  I met with my doctor on Mach 7, 2011, to get my results.  Almost one year to the day of passing my "worst day of my life." Need I say I thought March 4, 2010, was the worst day ever.  No. I soon discovered that March all together would be the worst month ever.  March 7, 2011, soon became my WORST day.  

I certainly wasn't expecting the news I was about to receive. I thought that since I had lost 48 pounds already and moving forward, I felt ok, what could go wrong? I was re-diagnosed with Stage IV Liver Disease aka Cirrhosis of the Liver, as a result of Fatty Liver Disease.  To be exact - WTF!!!!!! How could this be?  There are only 4 stages in liver disease.  I was floored. Shocked. Devastated. A total loss for words. I wanted to die right then and there.  I could not deal with another failure.  I asked my doctor the big question.  What did this do for my life span.  He said I must continue to remain on a positive path, lose an additional 10 pounds max (I've lost a total of 61lbs to date) and get the knee operated on.  He said I should have a good 10 years with this liver.  
Once again, I fell into a deep sadness almost to the point that I felt I was falling back into a depression.  I had set my time limit to feel sorry for myself no longer that the customary 2 weeks.  I returned back to see him on June 2, 2011.  He said that he was concerned that I had advanced 10 years within one years time.  He sent out my biopsy for further study at UCLA.  It came back that I have a genetic disorder as well.  Both my biological parents carry the "Z" chromosome.  This is not common and when it happened (ZZ), I then became an MZ, producing ZZ Deficiency of "Alpha₁-Antitrypsin." The features of the liver disease appear to be rapidly progressive when diagnosed at this stage, with a high likelihood of death within 4 years of the identification of liver disease.


Bullpucky. I refuse to allow myself to be ran by a ridiculous disease. Period!