A great day

Yesterday was a great day! A day of spiritual guidance. A healing process moving forward. I actually felt the greatness of God surrounding me and showing me once again how mighty he is. I cried both inside and out. It was quite overwhelming at one point.

Although I was on a mission for Tony, I also knew this was a mission for myself.

Not sure what went on

It was a very long day today.  Pain was strong.  For a minute there it was unbearable.  I took an advil although I know I shouldn't have.  Had dinner with Matt and Julie and Mz Izzie at Marie Callander's.  I brought my dinner home as I couldn't eat it.  I did however, eat my salad and drank 2 glasses of water. 

I still feel this sadness.  It hasn't subsided much.

One of those days

Ever have one of those fucked up days that you wish you could just bury your head in the sand and hope for a huge wave to come wrap you up? Or perhaps a a strong Cadillac Margarita and a sexy man by your side to enjoy the night? Or perhaps just a great bottle of wine and a shaggy white rug laying naked in front of a warm fireplace?

Unfortunately life goes on and we have to deal with the fucken nonsense pf it all..... I'm thankful that I have the faculties to handle it today.

Out with the old Son

Although I do not want to look back, I really have to admit that you were pretty messed on your "shit." I was broken hearted and just wanted the Lord to take your life.  I was tired of worrying about you.  I had no more trears to cry.

The Lord is awesome.  He did take your life - but in a whole different way.  As you dedicated your life to Jesus earlier this year, I could never be ever so thankful to God.  He is a forgiving God.

In my days..... It's great to be alive!

If you only had.........

If you only had.........taken out the time to listen not just hear

Heavy heart

My heart is very heavy tonight as it was this day.  Tony leaves for state prison in less than 3 weeks.  I pray to God that he will be safe and that he remains in his hands.  As a mother, it is still very hard to swallow that your son has made mistakes and he is accepting of his penance.  Good, bad or indifferent - He is still my son and I love him unconditionally.

I spoke to him today for about 20 minutes.  I could hear the sadness in his voice as one more year is a long time.  Although the Lord has answered my prayers and has spared my son's life by taking him off the streets and locking him up, it's still difficult knowing he has got to do this in order to make a change for the better.  Locking him up to deal with his own demons and having to face them head on.  Once his time is over, I pray that this will all be behind him and that he can return to a normal life.  What ever that may be, just some sort of peace and calm to resume back in his life.

Just for you.....

Good morning, Aimee.  I woke up this morning thinking of you.  It seems that as of late, you have crossed my mind enough to keep your memory alive.  I spoke of you the other day and I didn't realize how much the pain of losing you was prevalent.   Forever in my heart, my daughter.  I love you and miss you....

My sweet little Angel Dove........... One day, we shall be together.

Something you should know

My first entry

I've been contemplating this new additional blog for quite some time now and have just been procrastinating.  Actually, this blog now makes it my 4th one.  Although this one is not linked up to my other one's, I would rather it just remain as is so that I can completely feel comfortable saying what ever the heck I want to say without any interruptions or comments from the peanut gallery.